Just another Friday...

Fridays are usually our most relaxing day. Mostly because only Dylan has school. Ryan gets to relax and play whatever he wants. He tends to think he is in his own little world. While he was playing I got this picture of him. His face is priceless and I just had to share it. Enjoy.

Hooray For Swings...

Well, after writing my last blog I was encouraged to quit talking and get doing. I ordered a hammock chair for Ryan and I am happy to say that my wonderful man already mounted it up and we've used it a million times since! Ryan loves it! So does Dylan (who keeps saying he needs therapy too when we tell him the stuff we buy isn't just for fun but it's to help Ryan with therapy. I guess we could have just left it as "yeah, it's for fun" and not have a kid that claims he needs therapy... oh well, lesson learned).

This is the "in a trance" face Ryan gets after swinging for a  few  minutes. He stays in this zone for 15 minutes easily, sometimes 20 to 30 minutes. 

He was holding on to and playing with the smallest puzzle piece ever. He was pretending it was a rocket ship. 

We were blessed by my awesome grandparents who gave us some cash to use to buy some of Ryan's therapy goodies too!!! (Thank you so much grandma, you are awesome and we love you)!! We went out right away and got the boy a trampoline! We intended to have it put away when he's not using to prevent injuries and we have yet to do so because he has used it nonstop! I tried to get pictures of it... harder to do than I originally thought so I will save that for the next blog. The money also was used to pay for the swing and hardware used to mount it!

Next on the list is a possible homemade tunnel. I'm just trying to determine the best way to configure the opening so it stays open... (Any ideas Amber??) I was going to get some ugly, hilariously bright, fabric and just have fun with it! SO,Joann's sale section, here I come... but it was an epic fail! Even the fabric in the sale section was too pricey to get enough to make a decent tunnel. I checked out some dog agility ones online too but they're not cheap and I'm milking this cash! Finally, last night, I was remaking Ryan's bed after doing laundry and I had a thought...why not use an old sheet that isn't used! So I grabbed two sheets that we have lying around and now it's in the "to sew" in-box I have to be completed... (hopefully sooner than later).

I'm still working on the weighted items. I still want to get him the yuk-e ball. I am also considering a balance beam that Amber told me she made. Sounds awesome and Ryan has a blast balancing on stuff. Maybe I can get him a bosu ball...


On another note, we completed the testing for Autism with Kaiser. Great news, Ryan is not autistic. His final diagnosis is learning delay with speech delay and sensory processing disorder. Now the school district says Ryan displays autistic like behaviors and that's true. But the testing is done and the labels mean nothing. It is fine with me because they will continue to offer us the services Ryan needs to be prepared for general education. He also is too young to be diagnosed with Asperger's or ADD. So with the testing done, we just have to follow up with a behavior specialist every 6 months to a year, continue with occupational therapy, and see a speech therapist for however long they see fit.

The main objective in the testing was to rule out Autism to better diagnose the sensory issues. Most Autistic kids have some sort of sensory issues (or so I've been told by everyone from the school district and Kaiser). It's, of course, not always the case, but this is why we pushed for the testing despite everyone insisting that Ryan wasn't autistic. (And I use the term everyone but some thought it was possible). So now with clarification we can hone in to the sensory needs. The psychologist ruled out autism and says Ryan is a case where he only has SPD and speech delays.  

I guess that's all for now. I will post again soon. Hopefully I will have the tube and the weights. I shall keep you all posted.

With Love,
Audrey (and Ryan)

Time To Play Catch Up!

Well, as you can tell, I'm not too great about this "blogging regularly" thing. I woke up and decided I was going to do it and, wouldn't you know it, Ryan followed me up stairs.. So I'm hoping he will be entertained while I type this.. 

He has his train station, flash cards about bugs, a bagel, and of course one of his new favorite airplanes! One hopes this would be enough to keep him occupied...  

Ok, when I last blogged we hadn't had our meeting with the school district about what Ryan was approved for. We have since had it and the meeting went well. The terms they used that traumatized me last time (when the they flat out said he probably has autism) changed to something a little more manageable. Of course by the time we met again, I was fine and had dealt with (as much as one can) with idea of having an autistic son. They have since started saying that Ryan simply displays autistic-like behaviors and he was approved for the 4 day a week state preschool for special needs. The kids in his class are all "mild to moderate" levels of "autistic like behaviors" with a main focus in a lack of social skills. They all have some sort of speech delay and there's only 11 kids in the class (Ryan being # 11). There's one full time teacher and two full time aids. They are all so young but really really nice. The teacher is great and has no problem figuring out what works for Ryan. 

He absolutely LOVES airplanes! 

Ryan is in his third week of school and he really enjoys it. It's from 11:45 to 2:45. He does pretty good for the  hours to fall right when he would be napping. Of course he's a mess when he comes home! It's cute seeing Ryan come home with crafts he's done. Of course his first day I was a mess. Crying and all... Ryan, surprisingly, didn't even look back. In fact he actually cries when we leave. He's getting better though at the whole crying bit. And in even bigger news, he actually peed in the potty at school yesterday!!! This is great news! He hasn't done it since but that's pretty good since he's only been there for less than 3 weeks! 

That's pretty much the latest about the whole school thing. I'm in a hurry to type now that both kids are up and want 100% of my attention! Sheesh! We're still meeting with the OT. The latest issue was Ryan was giving us a hard time during bed time. The OT is so smart. She always helps me see that the problems usually have simple solutions. All we did was turn the noise maker off and the problems subsided. Awesome! Our other current issue is Ryan is biting still... And when I say still it's pretty often he either bites or pokes or jabs or something mean. This is typical of sensory processing I'm assuming since every questionnaire I've filled out asked if it seems like "your child is a bully." I need to find a mini trampoline AND a hammock swing for cheap because he loves to bounce and he loves to swing. The OT suggested adding these to his daily routine to see if it helps keep the bullying at  bay. The cheapest trampoline I've found is $25 on the Walmart website. And I need to hang a simple hammock swing inside so I can swing Ryan... There's so much I want to get him on Amazon that's great for his therapy too! It's therapeutic for him to carry  heavy loads and they have these neat medicine balls that are all bumpy that come in different weights. Ryan loves to play with them at the OT's office. They look like this:

It's also good for him to walk through cloth tubes.. It's hard to explain... here's a picture:

I was thinking of making the tunnel thing. Shouldn't be too difficult... in thought! He also loved sliding a ramp on one of these roller boards (laying on his tummy of course). I'd have to construct or buy a ramp though lol... Or just launch him outside down a driveway.... (realllllll safe!). 

Currently my main objective is to get the hammock and the mini trampoline...  I think I will order them today. They're not expensive. Well that's all for now. I gotta get these kids ready for school. 

It's been awhile... but there's much to say!

There is so much to write and I don't even remember where I left off. SO let's just get right down to business.. We've completed the RSEED testing for the school district. The last appointment left me in tears and is the real reason I haven't blogged. I didn't know what to think or how to approach the matter. I'm better now and am ready to share. So the school district classified Ryan with high performing autism... it's not a diagnosis but they say he falls within the "range". Our meting is set for the 13th to see what the school district is prepared to offer. When I left the last testing appointment there was talk of him not qualifying for the free school district preschool and that I would need to find (aka pay for) his preschool. This kinda sucked since the original reason for going through the testing was in hopes that he qualified for the preschool. It doesn't suck in the fact that he's not severe enough that he needs assistance. He will, regardless of what they offer, still get an IEP and will have options.What those are I don't know. I'm hoping they will go over that in the IEP meeting later this month. So that was that so far with the testing. I was crying in the last appointment because I wasn't really emotionally ready for the "autism" word. I'm not worried about loving him or treating him differently. It was more a matter of "I love him no matter what" but let's be honest, no mom wants a "broken" kid. In the big picture it's not a big deal, but I guess I just had a harder time with it than I let others to believe. Moving on...  

On the other hand, having said all that, the doctors on his case at Kaiser think the school district is mistaken and everyone I've talked to thinks the idea of Ryan having autism of any form is ridiculous. The nurses I've spoken to say that the school district mislabel stuff all the time and that Ryan doesn't indicate specific signs of autism that Kaiser looks for... though this made me happy it also confused the heck out of me! I asked the OT (who firmly disagrees with the school district and blames the signs they pointed out on the SPD) for the referral to the Kaiser autism clinic anyway for the sake of peace of mine. She agreed and put the order in. The nurse from the behavioral department called on behalf of the specialist (who we met with originally, who had little to no contact with Ryan, and who was the one who had to put the original referral in to the OT and speech therapist) said that Ryan has technically gone thru 3 of the 4 steps of the clinic already. Seeing the behavioral specialist was the first step, meeting with the OT was the second and meeting with the speech therapist was the third. Apparently the last step is a final evaluation done by the same specialist. And that thereafter you meet with all of them and they give you the run down. Something that would have been nice to know YESTERDAY! (Sarcasm of course.. just annoyed that I was in the dark.. but still comforting still knowing that they're not worried he has autism). 

So we're still meeting with the OT, and the speech therapist. We have our retake schedule set for the age appropriate hearing test. And we have our meeting set with the school district. Thereafter I have a meeting set with the behavior specialist to go over the documents from the school district. Did I mention these appointments are ALL THIS MONTH! Sheesh! Well, it's all to his benefit so no big deal. I hope I'm prepared for whatever comes our way. I just want what is best for him (aside from quickly medicating him). I hate to prove the school district ladies wrong because they really were wonderful. 

As far as his sensory diet goes, I got him a jumpolene, which he popped in a matter of days. I'm considering a real trampoline now. Since watching and catering to his ques new developments have transpired in his behavior. He used to be a good sleeper (which is uncommon for SPD kids). The OT attributed this to his mental struggle to avoid light touch. Well now that he gets a fair amount of sensory input he has had trouble sleeping. He fights me tongue and cheek and incredibly attached to Dylan. Wants to sleep with him and play with him. When he isn't here he naps in Dylan's bed and  specifically asks for Dylan's bed too. It's cute but it's clear that Dylan is the new "comfort blanket". I also originally thought Ryan to be more hyposensitive (under-responsive to sensory experiences) but lately he has shown signs of hypersensitivity (over-responsive to sensory stimulation): like sound bothering him, and though he is talking A LOT more, he whispers a lot. He also has been putting things in his mouth. I'm going to ask the OT her take on this. I'm sure he's just getting more comfortable with life and people since he is given a chance to release his energy. I see the OT on Friday... Hopefully I remember to bring it up. 

As for what Ryan has begun to show a real liking too... the tire swing. Down the street at Dylan's school they have a tire swing and he loves to spin and rock in it. Just non stop! Until he sees Dylan doing something and then he is quick to follow. He also can really ride his bike now! He loves it!! 

Well that's all for now. I'm sure I left you with an earful (or an eyeful... since you're reading). I hope to blog again sooner than later. We meet with the speech therapist tomorrow so I will try to blog an update on that before I'm bombarded with other appointments and then forget to update you on all the fun details of this journey. 

For those of you interested in reading a little about what SPD is, check out this article my friend Crystal sent me. Feel free to email me anything you see or think of! I can use all eyes looking for good play ideas and tools! 

Thanks for listening and praying for me. I know having a good support system is important! Love you all! 

A quick awesome post...

I forgot to mention in my previous post how Dylan, Ryan and I walked to school today. We were in a rush to get there but Ryan and I decided to take our time coming home. Some of you may have already seen these pictures on Facebook, but they are too cute not to post in the blog (that Ryan may one day look back at... maybe).

He stopped at this tree along our walk home and we were there for at least 20 minutes. He loved all the leaves and I loved that the people who lived there didn't come out and shout at us to get off their property because Ryan was too cute!

He proudly showed me every stick, leaf, etc. while we were there. It was awesome. I just kept playing over in my head the various things the OT said today about how differently he processes things and how he experiences life differently. On any other day I would have rushed him home and gone to the gym or whatever. Today I just stopped my brain from rushing me from this moment.

He was so cute throwing the leaves all around over and over and over... I loved it. Only when he was done did I usher him to start walking again. It was a beautiful mommy and Ryan moment. Gave me a breath of relief just watching him. I felt better. :)

Then later that day, after we got brother from school and had snack, Ryan got up from snack and starting acting rowdy. The OT today was telling me I need to watch Ryan for signs for developing his schedule. I saw his sudden switch as a sign and I set up the living room as a obstacle course. Pop up tent, pop up tunnel, stacked the couch cushions and we rough housed. Ryan, and Dylan for that matter, played rough for 45 minutes nonstop! I even played fun, playful kids music. When Ryan was done he just picked up a plane and started playing by himself. I could tell he was over it. I cleaned up. Dylan started homework. I changed the CD to a Pooh story on CD and this was what Ryan did. ... Sat down and spaced out.

Then he did this for the next 20 minutes...

He didn't sleep.. just laid there and relaxed. Then he came to the table and joined Dylan for some activities. It was awesome.

Second OT Appointment

I'm sitting here doing some research while Dylan is in school and while Ryan takes a nap. My mind is going a million miles a minute because there's one million things I need to do in this brief time of solitude, but research is the heaviest weight I am carrying right now... so here we are. Before I start into the scientific stuff, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who gave me words of encouragement yesterday. Guess I just hit one of life's speed bumps. I have since smacked myself out of my stupid pity party and am back on track. Focused to do whatever it takes to be a strong mommy for Ryan and Dylan. It really just comes down to finding life's balance. But without your love and support yesterday would have been so much worse. By the time daddy came home from work I was all better and ready for dinner... and bed of course. But that had to wait since Ryan decided to take his sweet time falling asleep. It was nice cuddling with him and just ending the day relaxing. I love Ryan for who he is and I refuse to look at him as if something is wrong with him. He just needs work in certain areas.. we all do. So, for those of you who reached out to me, thank you. I needed it and am glad you made my day better without casting judgment. This is why I have chosen to share this part of our lives with you. :) Now, down to business. 


I'm researching what SPD (sensory processing disorder) really means and how it relates to Ryan individually. I joined an online community last night and the parents on there (as well as a good friend of mine) suggested I speak to the OT about what forms of SPD Ryan has... A website I found easily stated those with SPD display sensory defensiveness and "sensory defensiveness is the over-responsiveness of the protective responses of the nervous system."


Today the OT gave me some handouts that better explain some of the different forms of SPD and how it can affect the tactile system. I'm not sure because it seems like Ryan has both a hypersensitive (decreased sensitivity to touch) and hyposensitive (tactile defensiveness) tactile system. Ryan seems more tactile defensive though. The OT today did say that she thinks he has a hyposensitive vestibular system and hypersensitive proprioceptive  system too. When we're at therapy Ryan is constantly on the move and is virtually fearless. He wants to hang from the ceiling and bounce off the trampoline. It's incredible and he loves it! I wish we had a room just for him to be rambunctious in! I'll be continuing the research about it too. 


For the varying degrees of SPD that Ryan has, the OT recommended continuing the Wilbarger Brushing (specific pattern of stimulation delivered using a special type of brush and gentle joint compressions) she prescribed at our first visit, a weighted vest, and various physical activities. She also suggested when we go places to take a pop up tent so Ryan always has a safe place to basically avoid people. She mentioned a weighted blanket too to help him sleep. She also suggested I follow a typical preschool schedule (snack time, nap time, etc). She didn't specify how the schedule needed to be displayed but she did say that therapeutic play should be part of the schedule but to try and fit it into everyday activities (like rolling on the floor to the dinner table, etc). Basically, the stuff boys usually do (rough house, jump off the couch, etc.) is therapeutic for Ryan and gives him a sense of release from his efforts to try and avoid what he doesn't like (light touch for example).  I'm still trying to understand all this too... We wanna get Ryan a Jumpolene too.. that will be fun.. AND therapeutic! 


I am also looking into the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol,  now known as The Wilbarger Deep Pressure and Proprioceptive Technique (DPPT) which is what the pediatric OT prescribed at our first appointment about two weeks ago. I mentioned it in my first blog entry but I am still confused as to the purpose.  I was interested to find that the article states, "emerging evidence and expert opinion indicate that a deep-pressure proprioceptive protocol may be useful in helping children improve their ability to process sensory information effectively... and "It is recommended that using the protocol prior to stressful situations or activities (i.e., dentist, haircut, starting school, etc.) be considered to help the child tolerate participation in these stressful activities." 


"Based on the theory of Sensory Integration, the DPPT uses a prescriptive method of providing stimulation to help the mind-brain-body self-organize. " And the benefits include: 

• "An improved ability to transition between various daily activities
• An improvement in the ability to pay attention
• A decreased fear and discomfort of being touched (tactile defensiveness)
• An increase in the ability of the central nervous system to use information from the peripheral nervous system more effectively, resulting in enhanced movement coordination, functional communication, sensory modulation, and hence, self-regulation."

So the next time someone asks why we're doing it I can tell them why... kind of. ;) 


I quickly put together a schedule for Ryan... what do you think? Let's see how it goes for a couple of days... I'm already thinking of accommodation that need to be made on Tuesday, but other days of the week should be ok... I think... 
Tentitive schedule is as follows:
8:30am Breakfast/ free play with movie
9:30am Take Dylan to school
10:30am Ryan therapy play
11:30am Speech activity
12 Lunch
12:30pm Read/Nap
1:45pm Pick Up Dylay
2:15pm Snack
2:30pm Ryan speech activity/Dylan homework
4:30pm Therapy play
5pm Movie
6pm Dinner
7pm Bath 
7:30pm Therapy Play with Daddy
8pm Read/Bed Ryan
8:30/9 Read/Bed Dylan


That will have to do for now. I will see what else I can find. I am adding some more links to the blog to help remember where to go for info and to help others have a resource guide. Also, I called and scheduled a follow up appointment with the speech therapist to develop a home plan for Ryan. 

Hearing Test and First Speech Therapy Appointment

Well let's start out with the hearing test. Not much came from it. I figured Ryan could hear so I wasn't too worried about it. He didn't cooperate in the age appropriate test so they used the infant test on him (where the a toy makes sound at either end of the room and they turn their head to acknowledged what ear they heard the sound in). He also sat through the test where they bounce sound off his ear drum to confirm both ears we're working/responding to sound. He fussed most of the appointment. I thought it wasn't a big deal since he at least completed the infant test. Unfortunately I do have to go back for a second go at the age appropriate test because they can't confirm he is hearing completely out of both ears until he does... Kind of a hassle but not the end of the world.

Today was the first speech therapy appointment. It ended up being more of a consultation and she just assessed where he is at on the spectrum of standards. The test of early language development was administered and he scored pretty low. His receptive language quotient was 70 which is the age equivalent of 1 year 10 months, and he is in the 2nd percentile. For his expressive language he scored a quotient of 75 with the same age equivalency of 1 year 10 month old and he is in the 5 percentile. Overall he scored a spoken language quotient of 67. The average is 90-110 and he fell into the Poor/very poor category. Not good. The therapist took some further notes after some of the testing and she wrote the following:

Receptive Language: "Ryan was able to identify objects, pictures of objects, and basic body parts. Ryan was able to give one block on request with repetition of request. He was not able to demonstrate an activity ("show me how you brush your teeth" -he instead just showed his teeth) or accurately identify pictures depicting the location words of "in" and "on". He only followed one part of a two-step direction.

Expressive Language: Ryan was able to name pictures of familiar objects. He was heard to use up to 3 word sentences, however his mother reported that he can use up to 5 word sentences. Examples of sentences heard today include "There, it's gone", "No see it", "Is this airplane?", "What's that?". Ryan still mixes jargon with true words.

Summary: Ryan presents with poor receptive language and poor expressive language skills. His speech skills are appropriate given his expressive language age level.

That was pretty much the appointment. I wasn't able to say much. I couldn't help him understand and when I did talk I sounded stupid and fumbled over my words because it was so nerve-racking. The therapist was a no fluff kinda person and was down to business. Which made it worse for me. It was hard not to help him and it was hard to sit there and watch her take notes on some chart about him. I know this is all part of the process and you do what you gotta do. As far as a after appointment plan, she was very aloof about what I was supposed to do. Probably because I mentioned Ryan is getting assessed with the school district in early December. After leaving the appointment I figured this was just an assessment and I would have to return to get a more detailed plan of attack on how to help Ryan.

As a result of the aloofness and the shockingly low score (I knew he was behind.. just wasn't expecting it to be SO far). I am kinda a mess today. I called my husband and cried because I feel like a failure. I should have done more with him. I should have just been better. I wouldn't really be able to explain how or what I should have done better, but something... I just can't help but feel guilty. I'm hoping tomorrow at our second OT appointment I will have something more tangible to hold onto other than a low score. Some shred of hope that this isn't a big deal and that Ryan will be fine, and that I can handle this, and that I'm not a failure, and that I am a good mom. I know these things to be true I guess but I just feel terrible. I guess I am more overwhelmed with this than I let others believe and that I do feel a sense of condemnation.

I will be ok though. I just have to bounce back. I have to put together a strict schedule or plan of some sort. Part of me is just overwhelmed with the idea that I can't seem to absorb or learn enough about what I need to do to help Ryan fast enough. I have to just get up and do something to help make things better. I can't sit here and read, I need to do something... but I have to sit here and read to figure out what to do and to figure out what to order, etc. Part of me is panics because I need to be more structured and I have come to learn that I am not very structured at all. WE have some structure but not enough. Maybe it's the whole idea of change. Who really knows. I'm just overwhelmed and there's no time to have a pity party. (cue slap to the face).

Ryan is of course clueless and happy as a clam. I can't lead him to believe otherwise. We will work together on stuff and we will have fun. I will orchestrate a cohesive plan within our little family to help everyone. There's nothing like trial and error, right? Fingers crossed my next post will be full of butterflies and candy gum drop joy. Hopefully I don't vomit my sadness crap all over the poor OT tomorrow.